The etiquette surrounding email communication is entrenched in nuance. A poll by Adobe has uncovered the most annoying phrases to receive in a work email. It is full of passive-aggressive neediness and hostility, but what do the phrases really mean?
Here are the most annoying:
‘Not sure if you saw my last email’
Whatever it was, I am more important. Please work until you are dead.
‘Per my last email’
I use the word “per” now, because I want my vaguely legal-sounding vocabulary to create deep fear.
‘Per our conversation’
I am creating a paper trail, because I want everyone to know that this whole mess is your fault, even though it is probably mine.
‘Any updates on this?’
I am making this a question because “I DEMAND IMMEDIATE UPDATES!” makes me look mad.
‘Sorry for the double email’
I am not sorry. Tomorrow, I am going to send you it three times, and I won’t be sorry about that, either.
I am dumping all responsibility on to you.
“Discussed” means “demanded”. Be afraid.
‘Reattaching for convenience’
I do not just want to clog up your inbox with unnecessary reminders, I want to clog up your inbox with documents you already own.
It’s important to stay professional at work, even if your colleagues are driving you up the wall.
Adobe’s research comes after a survey carried out by Glassdoor last year revealed the most annoying phrases used by colleagues in conversation. 2,000 participants were asked to name their most-hated office catchphrases, with “touch base” ranking highest. This was followed by “blue sky thinking”, “we’re on a journey” and “game changer”.